Date: 26th May 2016
Venue: St Fagans
Opposition: Chartered Trust
Format: Cup
Author: A. Collyer
Having surrendered meekly by 50 runs in a league game to Chartered Trust just the previous, Eclipse had more than a little bit to prove as they lined up for their cup game. CT may be a nice bunch of guys, but that doesn't mean we should let them walk all over us.
Basically, it was time for us to stand up and stop being such pussies.
Both teams were a few players different from the previous night, and with CT only having 10, Ryan stepped up to play for them. No doubt looking forward to sharpening his sledging skills - and being on the winning team for once!
Storky turned up for us as 12th man, but didn't have his kit with him. He denied he should pay a fine for this, claiming he couldn't have played as he had to go to work. Then proceeded to stay for the whole match! The committee may well look into that... Never mind, he did fine work on the scorebook, and let fly some excellent encouragement and sledging that Ryan would have been proud of - especially considering it was mostly at Vince! He also looked resplendent in his new Prada spectacles. Such a shame they don't make them for men.
Chrissy H, skippering his first cup match, won a vital toss. Knowing that we lack the strategy to chase a score (we thrash ourselves all out in ten overs chasing a tiny total, or crawl along too slowly with men in the shed for a big one) he wisely put us in to bat.
He and the experienced Brian (the man who's seen more cups come and go than a bra seller) took it to CT early, and we were off at a lively pace.
Bri showed Ali that his bat wasn't broken, by clubbing a mighty six. He was so cool, he didn't even need to use the face of the bat. His lively innings came to an end though, when Squires bowled a straight one, and Luke gave him out LBW. Then the ball hit Bri's leg. That seemed to be the order that things happened from where we were sitting!
Matty came and went before we'd really noticed he'd even got out there, then Skip and Fari put the hammer down. Skip was looking odds on to retire, but fell for 19 leaving Ali to take over. Sadly his bat seemed broken again, as he couldn't score more than one at a time, but the ones got Fari in and he was smashing it to all corners. His retirement was reached, and he was our first man back in the shed. Job done.
Ali had finally got his bat working a bit, and was joined by Tim, who had switched to 'cup mode' and swished and slashed his way to a blistering 2 singles in two overs.
Ali somehow avoided being caught a few times, and was duly retired to join Fari, with his 25 runs pretty much equalling what he got all of last season (no doubt spurred on by there being no Nilu this season, so the 'Least Improved Player' trophy is like a sword of Damocles hanging over a few of us...)
Tim departed for bowled for 2, and RDJ went in and did exactly what the doctor ordered. (No, not that doctor - he had his vasectomy years ago!) No, he banged a swift 9 off a few balls and then got out. His fine work was undone a little by promising us some jelly babies, then announcing he'd left them in the car. Sad times.
Rob 'Don' Johnson and Luke didn't hang around for their two and one respectively, and that left the Evergreen Andy Court, and Vince to get as many as possible in the last few overs, knowing that the two retirees could come back in.
That's how it was supposed to go, anyway!
The old saying goes, that there's no 'I' in team. Well, there is one in 'Vince', and much to the dismay of the men in the shed he was enjoying his playing and missing so much that he didn't want to let anyone else have a go. He was finally run out for 9, which put Fari back in, who rattled a couple of quick fours to finish on a fine 36 not out, with the EAC still there on a creditable 17 not out. Special mention must go to Extras, who managed to chip in with a very handy 25!
So, CT to get 155 to win in just 18 overs (i.e. nearly 9 an over) - but a cup game means there's 9 bowlers needed. That means the potential for dishing up more gash than a Weston Super Mare nightclub...
Luke started with an over for 8. Honours even. Skip called up RDJ for over 2. And what an over! 2 wickets, including Huw who'd spanked a quickfire 50 off us the previous night.
Luke joined the party with an over for 2 runs, including the wicket of Pat who'd also tonked a 50 off us the night before.
”Someone ring Tim" yelled the skipper. "We'll be down soon for a drink!". Let's hope that statement didn't come back to haunt us...
Then Rob decided to give CT a chance by serving some dross and going for 16. Game back on!
Fari bowled steadily but with no luck for 11 off his 2 overs, while Matt bowled the reverse of Rob's overs - a wide splattered horror first over, followed by a glorious over with a wicket for 2 runs. The wicket included a fine catch by Tim, who didn't even break stride as he took it on the run, then just kept running, leading to a Benny Hill style chase around the outfield as delirium threatened to take over.
Rob (Don) bowled very well for his 2 for 16 and Eclipse were on the charge, fielding like demons and turning the screw. But, just below the surface were the old worries. The squeaky bum time that had scared us into throwing away many a promising lead. CT were still scoring runs, despite losing wickets, and they too had managed to get a man back in the shed, and if they got back out to bat there was no second retirements.
After Bri's steady first over for 9, the ball was slashed during his second by Dale up to just 'near' skipper (just how near was discussed intently by the fines committee later in the bar!) and the ball went for 4. Followed by two more fours and a six. Another rabbit back in the hutch. It was game back on.
CT now had Ryan and Phil 'Doodles' Dooley (wearing possibly the largest cricket jumper I've ever seen in my life) at the crease, and we had to test our cricketing morals. Would we purposefully drop catches or miss run outs to ensure a win???
Would we arse. Tim and Skip bowled steadily and sensibly to keep the runs down, then Tim ran Ryan out when he had the chance (all noted how the junior Butcher had wasted no time giving up his wicket to get the retired batsmen back in!!).
Ali ran out Doodles a few balls later with a fine direct hit (OK, an underarm dribbler if you must know), and the two retirees were back out with just over 50 needed to win and a few overs to get them.
It came down to who would hold their nerve. Tim bowled to Dale, who slammed it down the ground. It was going for six.
But, hang on... there's a fielder out there! Cometh the hour, cometh the man. And if ever there were a man famous for being in the countryside when things cometh, it's our very own Dogger himself, Brian. While all around had bumholes twitching like bunnies' noses, Bri unfurled those bucket hands and nonchalantly took the money shot catch that sealed our 50 run victory.
It was particularly pleasing that everyone contributed to the game, (and not just in fines for once!), with special mention that we only shipped 9 extras (and I might add, no byes...) which for a cup game is a miracle.
Well done all!
Please note, the author has reserved the right to change a few of the facts (accidentally or on purpose) for comic effect or because he couldn't really remember what happened.
Anyone offended by anything written will be asked to 'man up' and write it themselves next time!!!
:o)