Eclipse Printing CC


Eclipse Printing CC 1st XI v Consmen on Tue 07 Jun 2011 at 6 pm
Eclipse Printing CC Won by 8 wickets

Match report The Date: 7th June 2011
The Venue: St. Fagan’s main pitch!
The Occasion: League game V Consmen
The name’s Collyer, skip Collyer – license to play again after a bit of a sore back, and a mission to remind his team mates who he was after their 7 consecutive wins without him!

Despite rain showers throughout the day and the previous night we were surprised to find the match was on, there was no more rain, and THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS were still nice and bright.
We’d even been given the main strip at St Fagan’s, so it was time to produce the goods.

The Consmen won the toss, and due to them only having 7 men they decided to bat first.
The Eclipse boys were pumped and ready – all except Andy Court who was running late (insert your own PUSSY GALORE joke here...). Every good Bond story need a Bond girl and they don’t come more pink and supple than Barbie, and Andy was soon slipping between her flaps and taking his rightful place behind the stumps.

Big Billy took the first over, and was in the groove straight away bowling his usual quick and straight deliveries and heaping pressure on to the Consmen’s innings right from the start.
He was ably backed up by Gareth (fresh from a morning on the on-line CASINO ROYALE) at the other end, and with the Eclipse fielders charging around like men possessed to stop any easy runs, we were turning the screw.
The pressure soon told when Billy clean bowled the opener Hind, then his replacement was despatched in Billy’s following over, caught by Simon (just a bowler hat away from being a double for ODDJOB) who made good ground to take the catch at mid-on.
A stunning start then to our opening 8 overs, with Billy getting 2 for 6, and Gareth 0 for 8. We needed to keep this going, and make the umpire raise his GOLDFINGER a few more times.

Matt took over from Billy, and was soon sending down some unstoppable deliveries, one THUNDERBALL in particular in his second over clean bowled Saunders, the Consmen’s captain, and Eclipse were on fire.
Meanwhile, Gihan had taken over from Gareth at the other end, and given the Consmen a mistaken ray of hope that they could finally get some respite from the quickies and score some runs. How wrong they were.
Davies, Potter and Harrison all played shots FOR YOUR EYES ONLY, were clean bowled by Gihan, and were duly sent back to the pavilion (which, as we had the main pitch, for once actually meant a pavilion and not just a portacabin!)
The second opener, Skirrow , had so far been the only one of the Consmen to show anything with the bat, and even looked to offer token resistance with a couple of decent fours hit off Gihan.
Eventually though, he tried too hard and top-edged one straight up in the air, leaving all the fielders on the leg side looking around hoping it wasn’t coming to them. Unfortunately for skip, his fate was sealed when Davey called ‘Al’s ball’, and promptly legged it out of the way to leave poor skip trembling underneath it with his GOLDENEYE twitching like a bunny’s nose. Thankfully it stuck, and Matt finished with 1 for 13 off his 3 overs, and Gihan a man-of-the-match 4 for 15 off his 4 overs.
Cometh the hour, cometh the men, and Bri and Nasher stepped in to polish off the tail. Bri (3 overs, 1 for 16) had Parker well caught again by Si at mid-on, and Dave (1.5 overs, 1 for 6) had Vanstone caught at mid-wicket by Billy, who did well to hold another steepler out in the deep.

DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER, but it seems Consmen batsmen aren’t.
8 of them fell for under 10 runs (therefore known as an OCTOPUSSY) and they finished on a total of 71 runs for the innings, thanks to some great bowling, top fielding, and no dropped catches.

To get full points for this game, Eclipse were going to need some steady batting and the loss of only one wicket en-route to the total of 72.

OddJob and Pussy Galore strode out to start our innings, and it was quickly apparent that this wasn’t going to be as easy as we’d hoped. Oddjob looped a catch up to mid-off from a ball that popped up off a good length, and was soon striding back to the pavilion for a duck.
His replacement, skip, was rustier than a sheriff’s badge left out in the rain, and nearly followed Oddjob back to the hutch with a similar uppish shot when a ball popped up. Thankfully it just cleared the fielder, and knowing that YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE he had to knuckle down to prevent any further wicket losses.
Pussy G at the other end had got off to a good start, no doubt quoting that old saying ‘attack is the best form of defence’ as he swatted a couple of good fours.
However, we were all quoting that new saying ‘jumping out of the way of the ball like a great big girl is the worst form of defence’ soon after as he inexplicably left a straight one and was out for 10 (2 fours). He left the field to sit and think about it in his own QUANTUM OF SOLICE.

Jedward Snr. replaced his younger bro at the wicket, and was soon rolling back the years and testing skips bad back with some good quick runs to keep the scoreboard ticking over.

Now, every Bond film needs a villain with a special weapon, and this one is no exception. We’ll just call him CFB for now, and his weapon (as skip found to his cost) was the fearsome beamer.
His first one was surely bowled with A VIEW TO A KILL, and struck skip on the upper arm knocking him to the floor. The BLOWFELD pretty painful (you like what I did there??) but thankfully skip was only SHAKEN, NOT STIRRED and got up to slap the next ball for a four.
CFB though clearly had a LICENSE TO KILL and send down another nasty beamer. Skip wanted to DIE ANOTHER DAY, so hit the deck again allowing the ball to sail through to the keeper at head height, and CFB was retired by their captain before someone was hurt.

Jedward Snr. (19 not out, 1 four) and skip (29 not out, 4 fours) managed to then see out the innings with an unbroken partnership of 44, and the match was won with the loss of just one bonus point.

The cup match follows tomorrow, and Eclipse will hope to dish out more punishment to the Consmen. Surely we’d never lose that???

NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN.........................................................

Author – Ali ‘Skip’ Collyer

Consmen Batting
Player name RunsMB4s6sSR
for 10 wickets
71 (0.0 overs)
A Hind b  Luke Bonelle 2
T Skirrow ct  Gihan (Alastair Collyer) 23
D Deane ct  Luke Bonelle (Simon Elliott) 2
M Davies b  Gihan 4
R Saunders b  Matt Williams 0
J Potter b  Gihan 1
P Harrison b  Gihan 0
C Vanstone ct  Dave Nash (Luke Bonelle) 11
G Parker ct  Brian Condon (Simon Elliott) 4
M Perez run out  (Andy Court) 3
S Williams Not Out  0

Eclipse Printing CC 1st XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Luke Bonelle4.00623.001.50
Gareth Coles4.01800.002.00
Matt Williams3.0013113.004.33
Gihan Gihan4.001543.753.75
Brian Condon3.0016116.005.33
Dave Nash1.50616.003.27

Eclipse Printing CC 1st XI Batting
Player Name RMB4s6sSRCatchesStumpingsRun outs
for 2 wickets

(0.0 overs)
Simon Elliott ct  T Skirrow 0 2
Andy Court b  M Davies 10 1
Alastair Collyer Not Out  29 1
Ian Court Not Out  19
Gareth Coles  
Matt Williams  
Luke Bonelle   1
Gihan Gihan  
Brian Condon  
Gavin Coles  
Dave Nash  

Consmen Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
T Skirrow2.01515.002.50
A Hind2.001800.009.00
M Davies2.00616.003.00
R Saunders1.001300.0013.00
D Deane2.001400.007.00
P Harrison2.001000.005.00
J Potter0.10400.0024.00