Eclipse Printing CC


Eclipse Printing CC 1st XI v Consmen on Wed 08 Jun 2011 at 6 pm
Eclipse Printing CC Lost by 1 wicket

Match report The Date: 8th June 2011
The Venue: St. Fagan’s
The Occasion: Cup Quarter Final V Consmen

So 12 months on, it’s the start of the challenge for that elusive chalice again, 'The Willow League Cup'. On the back of last year’s cup run and this seasons 8 wins on the bounce, confidence was high amongst the Eclipse eleven, especially as the opposition was The Consmen, who were well and truly stuffed the night before.
Despite the absence of the pace attack of the Williams sisters, Mikey on hols in sunny Cyprus with his 'hot' bird Amy (lucky bastard), and little sister Matt studying, I believe, the bowling attack was still impressive. The batting line up also looked strong, even though skipper Ali missing through being unable to get a pass for 2 games in a week 'cos he's married now!!
Prior to the start, stand-in skipper Gok was frisky as he slapped the Perv's ass as he was bending over, presumably to build himself up for the forthcoming 'toss', which was done 'all a bit quickly' or is that known as premature!! Anyway, The Consmen called and won, putting us in to bat, - 'result' we thought as we have been consistently better defending a total in the field. A special thanks to Rob D-J for supplying the hamper of goodies as usual, well a pack of Starburst anyway.
So it was down to openers, Gok and Buckets to start the proceedings. Opening bowler for the Consmen, M Davies had Gok fishing for a couple, then he couldn't even do that right as he caught a 'duck' off the 3rd ball(must be a stand-in skippers trait at the moment). Next to wield the willow was Niluka, confidence in his stride. Niluka opens his account with a lovely '4', then at the other end off Corden, smashes a '6', then taking 8 of the Consmen to head into the bushes, I'm assuming to find the ball(match ball that is). Brizzer at this stage only on 1. Next over, Niluka, had a couple of near misses, so is now to be known as 'Kylie', 'cos he was 'lucky, lucky, lucky'. This however, did not faze her as she thumped another boundary and quickly moved her score to 28 by the end of the 5th over and subsequently retired. At this stage it must be mentioned that, despite having new sturdy wooden chairs at the scorer’s table, Rob managed to break one of them, and so must have ate all the pies from the hamper and that’s why only a pack of starburst remained.
This brought Gareth in to accompany 'Steady Eddie' Brizzer on 3 - yes indeed 3 !!!!, off 5 overs. It must also be said here, that being so enthralled with Brizzer's fast paced innings Rob, Gok & Kylie were engrossed in discussing the inventing of a blow-up doll that shits!!. Gareth however did not trouble the Consmen as he too went for a 'duck', caught behind, but this apparently was a very dodgy decision by umpire, the Daddy Campbell, with Gareth F'in and blindin, the Daddy being referred to as a part of the female’s anatomy between her legs. The General then strode out to steady the ship, but Steady Eddie was soon to go, caught behind for 4 runs off 7 overs.
Eddie's replacement Luke was next in to join The General at the crease. In the 8th over off bowler Skirrow, The General unleashed an enormous '6', sailing on to the road, but next ball bowled out for 9 runs. Simon was next in to join Billy who had been 'flaying' at a few for an over or two (while admiring his new boots!) - Obviously determined to copy the General. Simon unfortunately did not fare any better than Gok, also going for a 'duck' off his 3rd ball, caught at square leg. Starburst Boy Rob joined Billy in the middle, smacking a boundary off his first ball, and then delicately tickling a few round his legs, but soon fell foul, being bowled out for 6 runs. Jedward Senior was next up to the fray, could he stay in without using the excuse '' I’m over 50'', if out quickly. He rose to the challenge, scoring a nice boundary and some crisp shots, while Billy, being unable to replicate The Generals power, decided to copy Starburst Boy and nudge a few round his legs. Temptation however could not be avoided and Billy tried another slog, but not enough muscle and was caught in the covers for 4 runs.
In cometh The Perv, to join his bro, 100 years of experience in the middle! A steady start with a couple of singles, then a boundary to backward of square, then a few more singles off the legs until being trapped lbw for 10 runs, umpire Steady Eddie's finger going up (I’m sure it was his middle finger too). The Daddy then joined Jedward Senior, but did not last long, being caught out off his 2nd ball for just 1 run. So it was up to Kylie to return, and she continued with her previous form striking another boundary, but also being caught off a 'no ball' - ''I should be so lucky lucky lucky'' again. She was then bowled off the penultimate ball of the last over for 40 runs. Jedward Snr was not out for 15 runs and not having to use his excuse!! So there it was a total of 104 to defend.
With only 104 runs to defend we had to keep it tight in the field. Billy and Gareth opened the bowling to Consmen opening pair of T Skirrow and Corden. Both Billy and Gareth bowled a couple of wide’s in their first overs, but subsequently found their line and length in their second, with Billy taking first blood, Corden caught by Simon for 1 run ( it looked as though Simon was about to shit himself when taking the catch). Billy finished his spell with 1 wicket for 9 runs, Gareth, no wicket for 10 runs.
First change of bowling saw Steady Eddie and the Daddy take the ball. Both bowled well, Steady taking out the Consmen's no.3 batsmen LBW for a duck. The Daddy's first over was a classic, so good that his name may change to 'The Wife' due to his nag, nag, nagging line. Steady's second over brought down Consmen's no.4 batsman with an outside edge to the warmth and dampness of Barbie. The Daddy's second over was the best over of the night, taking 2 wickets, the first an epic catch on the boundary by The General (probably the best we'll see all season), could be he'll now take the mantle of 'the Daddy' from Mr Campbell (well he will by the end of the year!!), and a second catch by Gok. Both finished their spells with excellent figures of 2 overs, 2 wickets for 2 runs.
Unfortunately, this tight bowling was too hard an act to follow; it could not be matched by the remaining bowlers. Father and son combo next with The General and his dad taking the next four overs. The General bowled well, with a run out from Starburst Boy into the gloves of Barbie, but with no wickets for 14 runs. Jedward Senior fared better in his first over taking the wicket of opener Skirrow to a sharp catch by Kylie (aka Niluka). The Consmen no.7, Hind however, showed no mercy or respect to his elders, thumping two 6's and a 4 off Jedward Seniors second over, of which also included 5 wide’s, thus finishing his spell of 2 overs, 1 wicket for 29 runs. Starburst Boy and Kylie followed, SB bowling out no.9 batsmen, but knocked for 14 runs, Kylie fairing a little better with 11 runs off her 2 overs but no wicket, although another run out via the 'cannon' arm of the General to the awaiting pink flaps.
Although our fielding was sharp, it must be noted, and apologies for not remembering whose bowling these were off, but 4 dropped catches were seen, one each for Niluka, Brian, Simon and Gareth. - Brian's by the way was most spectacular, as he ran 10-15 yards, dived and then somehow started to breakdance!!
Unfortunately, not even Simon (1.2 overs, no wickets, and 15 runs) could tame The Consmen, who reached the required total to win by 1 wicket with 4 balls to spare.
So there it was, back to past seasons form for the Cup games. Not enough runs on the board to start with, 19 wide’s and 4 dropped catches - need we say anymore. Let’s not dwell on this, we are still unbeaten in the league and joint top of the table, we can win it this year.........

Author - The Perv

Eclipse Printing CC 1st XI Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
for 10 wickets

(0.0 overs)
Christopher Stork ct M Davies (Deane) 0 1
Brian Condon ct A Crowe (WK) 4
Niluka Eratne b D Skirrow 40 1
Gareth Coles ct T Skirrow (WK) 0
Lee Court b T Skirrow 9 1 1
Luke Bonelle ct D Deane 4
Simon Elliott ct T Skirrow (Potter) 0 1
Rob Deighton-Jones b D Deane 6 1
Ian Court Not Out  15
Andy Court lbw A Hinds 10 1
Andy Campbell ct A Hinds 1

Consmen Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
M Davies2.0012112.006.00
J Corden2.001600.008.00
A Crowe2.00818.004.00
T Skirrow2.00832.674.00
D Deane2.001125.505.50
R Saunders1.00700.007.00
J Potter2.001300.006.50
A Hind2.00723.503.50
D Skirrow1.5015115.008.18
G Parker1.00900.009.00

Consmen Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
for 9 wickets
109 (0.0 overs)
T Skirrow ct Ian Court (Niluka) 13
J Corden ct Luke Bonelle (Simon Elliott) 1
D Skirrow lbw Brian Condon 0
A Bowen ct Brian Condon (Andy Court - WK) 0
D Deane ct Andy Campbell (Lee Court) 0
A Crowe ct Andy Campbell (Chris Stork) 0
A Hind Not Out  42
R Saunders run out (Rob D-Jones) 21
M Davies b Rob D_Jones 0
G Parker Not Out  4
J Potter run out (Lee Court) 2

Eclipse Printing CC 1st XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Luke Bonelle2.00919.004.50
Gareth Coles2.001000.005.00
Brian Condon2.00221.001.00
Andy Campbell2.00221.001.00
Lee Court2.001400.007.00
Ian Court2.0029129.0014.50
Rob Deighton-Jones2.0014114.007.00
Niluka Eratne2.001100.005.50
Simon Elliott1.201500.0011.25